Just as the new foods announced every year for the Minnesota State Fair, the new list of beers made especially for the event get weirder and weirder every year. This year’s selection seems to have outdone itself with funnel cakes, chocolate chip cookies, cotton candy and even Ouzo making their insidious way into everyone’s favorite alcoholic brewed beverage. This sadist’s list includes selections from all over the fair and are a likely affront to every tastebud on some level or another.
Brewzo Lager at Dino’s Gyros
Lake Monster Brewing
A pilsner brewed to taste like Greek Ouzo, the black licorice flavored spirit, this beer is served with a sugar-spiced rim. Throw as many “floral hops and crisp malt” flavors at the beer as possible, because black licorice is basically the flavor of pure evil.
5.4% ABV. 40 IBUs.
Cotton Candy Bubble Trouble at the Hideaway Speakeasy
Cannon River Winery
Cotton candy and sparkling Edelweiss wine sounds like a mega sugar hangover. There’s a cotton candy garnish to go with the infused wine just to gild the gag-inducing lily.
Funnel Cake Cream Ale at Coasters
There’s a slim possibility this one might not be too bad, much like the mini-donut beer of Lift Bridge actually pulled off the hail Mary mix of sweet and beer. Still, aiming for flavors of dough and pie filling won’t be an easy task. Proceed with caution.
Cake’d Up Celebration Beer at the Hangar
Deep. Fried. Cake. Beer. It’s described as lightly hopped with vanilla aroma and a sweet, cake-reminiscent finish. It’s like a surprise birthday party all your friends forgot to attend.
5.0% ABV. 20 IBUs.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Beer at Andy’s Grille
Big Wood Brewery
From the file of Nope, subhead Riding on Sweet Martha’s Cookie Jar’s Success comes a chocolate chip cookie beer. “Malty backbone” and “hints of chocolate and vanilla” is served in a chocolate-rimmed glass.
5.2% ABV. 25 IBUs.
Spumoni Tsunami at Mancini’s al Fresco
Bad Weather Brewing
Strawberry and vanilla are brewed into this beer and it’s served with a pistachio garnish. All seem reasonable on their own flavor terms, but tossed into a beer the Spumoni is suspicious.
4.8% ABV. 10 IBUs.
St. Pat’s Green Ale by Finnegans Brew Co.
O’Gara’s at the Fair
“This green light-bodied ale has a slightly fruity and floral aroma with a creamy, crisp finish.” Seems reasonable, but oh wait - it’s green. This is for anyone who thinks fondly upon the wise decisions made after a day of drinking in the middle of March.
4.6% ABV. 22 IBUs.